We Have No Meaning, But I Still Love You
by Kajune
Summary: Under the order of giving Grimmjow a bath, Ulquiorra soon finds himself confessing his inner pain to the first person to ever give him a proper meaning in life. GrimmUlqui AizenUlqui
1. How We Ended Up In Bath Together

**Title** : We Have No Meaning, But I Still Love You

**Disclaimer** : I do not own any of the Characters of Bleach.

**Genre** : Hurt / Comfort / Romance

**Warning** : Contains maleXmale content. Language. OOCness. OCs.

**Summary** : Under the order of giving Grimmjow a bath, Ulquiorra soon finds himself confessing his inner pain to the first person to ever give him a proper meaning in life. GrimmUlqui AizenUlqui

* * *

><p><strong>How We Ended Up In Bath Together<strong>

The large doors are slammed open, and brought along by two direct Arrancar-subordinates of Aizen is one of the Espada...covered in mud and blood. The smell coming from his colored skin and torn clothes is very disturbing and is spreading really fast, surprising a few witnesses as to how those two escorts can stand such a stench. It's very tempting to dash out of the room before the Espada can get any closer, but to do so would be very disrespectful towards Aizen, who would gladly punish anyone who behaved not according to their agreements...personally.

Some step back slightly as the blue-haired stomps over to the throne, hands in pockets and boots leaving clear footprints behind him. He looks like he had just jumped into a pool of filth, but the blood spells 'a pool of corpses'. Anyone would of expected him to have gone outside to beat up some weaklings for fun, but while being forced back, why is he in such a state is unknown.

Grimmjow soon stands before Aizen, the smell most-likely reaching the latter despite how high up he is. With his genuine smile clear on his face, Aizen calmly says, "Welcome back, Grimmjow. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Now that you're here, it'd be nice if you'd be so kind as to go get cleaned up, but of course, I'll have Ulquiorra assist you since you must be exhausted and can't do much on your own." In seconds all eyes turn on Ulquiorra, another figure present in the room. Without a hint of hesitation he accepts the new mission with a bow but deep down, even _he_ prefers to just leave empty-handed. The smell is so horrible that it makes death seem nice.

* * *

><p><em>Later...<em>

The ruined uniform of the 6th Espada has been disposed of for nothing can possibly restore it to its former condition. Another set of clothing is currently being delivered to the empty quarters of said Espada, while he is soaking his dirty skin in a rather large bathtub made especially for those that have gotten into a total mess. Grimmjow is forced to hold his breath each time water is splashed onto his hair and down his back, as a result for getting most of his hair dyed in a mixture of brown and red.

His body unexposed, Ulquiorra stands tall above his comrade as he repeatedly bends down, fills a bucket with water and splashes it onto Grimmjow. Following the ways of how a servant must clean an Espada, there will be no stopping this routine until every strain of hair is purely blue. Only afterwards, will he begin scrubbing the remaining filth off.

Neither are happy with what Aizen has forced them to go through nor do they feel sympathy towards each other. The reason for Aizen making Grimmjow get thoroughly washed is obvious, and that is because he smells terrible. To almost say it out loud and in a direct manner was out of suppressed annoyance for Grimmjow running off from Las Noches again without permission. Just why did he pick Ulquiorra out of all people to wash the blue-haired is not known, but as the former tips another load of cold water onto that bare skin, he recalls what he believes is the reason why.

* * *

><p><em>"Off, I said."<em>

_Aizen's voice never seizes to sound gentle but something about his words now reveal a lack of patience. Ulquiorra knows he is the cause but at this point he can no longer bare with keeping his master's temper at bay. No more does he want to continue this act, private or not, he doesn't want to play his part. _

_Inside the chambers of Aizen, a place no being but the sadistic Gin has entered, stands the rebellious 4th Espada. The room is quiet but is slowly being filled with tension, for Aizen will not let anyone reject an order. Ulquiorra is the last Arrancar Aizen expected to disobey him, and for that he feels more offended by the former's unwillingness to continue their once a week session._

_"Ulquiorra, take it off and come to me."_

_Ulquiorra doesn't move, doesn't blink. His relatively small figure just stands there frozen with his hands on the zipper of his jacket. A sudden desire to stop what he was going to do halted his movements, leaving only a bit of his chest revealed. Many times before has that pale body been stripped completely of clothing by its owner's pair of hands, but now to Aizen's disliking that all seems to have come to end._

What transpired between them shortly after has been forgotten, and what next can the 4th Espada remember is a hint as to why Aizen has made him clean Grimmjow.

_Still sitting on the edge of his bed, barely within the candle's reach, Aizen smiles his usual smile at the still fully (but not properly) dressed Espada._

_"Since you refuse to continue this, I will have you see just how natural it is to be without anything to cover your body, while in the presence of another."_

Nothing else is remembered of last night while Ulquiorra was inside that room, besides the understanding that for the first time he has managed to avoid sleeping with Aizen ever since the session began.

* * *

><p>"Ulquiorra!"<p>

Grimmjow's voice 'awakens' Ulquiorra from his trip through the lane of memories. Apparently the shorter of the two had felt what might of been shame and, in turn, tipped the bucket of water onto himself. His white clothes now soaking wet, Ulquiorra is left but to discard them. However, he hasn't finished cleaning Grimmjow and if he fails to do so, Aizen will definitely grant him a proper punishment for refusing to be loyal last time they were alone together.

If he does choose to remain loyal by finishing the job, Ulquiorra will most likely get a bit sick by wearing a wet uniform. It isn't a rule, but rather a recommendation that every Arrancar must change whenever their clothes are wet or dirty. Both situations don't share the same reason why, not that it matters much.

"What the fuck did you do that for?"

Grimmjow demandingly asks. Judging by his hair there still seems to be a bit more work to be done, and if one includes the rest of his body that means it will take at least an hour, before Ulquiorra can get a chance to put on something dry.

"None of your business."

This is the only reply Ulquiorra can think up as he tries to choose between two options. Leaving this room means that he has abandoned his mission, whatever his reason turns out to be. So in truth, Ulquiorra has been backed to a wall and that is his fault for not bearing with the pain of being violated by his god.

"Oh really?" Grimmjow says, in a tone that reveals how annoyed he feels. "I bet it'd be Aizen's business if I told him that, right?"

As if his words had suddenly hit a jackpot inside Ulquiorra, all thoughts currently being processed vanish once the words reach Ulquiorra's ears and, somewhat as Grimmjow had expected, a reply is given.

"Aizen-sama doesn't need to know of this!"

He says unusually loud, before dipping up more water and splashing it onto Grimmjow, who wasn't prepared for it. The sudden arrival of water causes him to cough.

"What the hell! Don't act like this is my fault, Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow shouts, with the slight feeling that this has become some sort of a shouting contest. "Go blame a damn giant Hollow for attacking me!"

"There is no need, for it is clear that you provoked it."

His calm demeanor back now that Aizen's name wasn't mentioned, Ulquiorra (if not hesitantly) resumes filling the bucket with water, but out of frustration Grimmjow grabs and pulls him by the arm, forcing him to splash into the tub.

* * *

><p><em>If he hadn't felt intense enjoyment in killing the weak Adjuchas-class Menos that lie before him, Grimmjow wouldn't of begun laughing loudly with blood-soaked hands when a giant, caterpillar-like Hollow raced at him from behind and attacked, only to miss by a tiny bit. Grimmjow skidded away from the creature triple his size with his smile completely removed. <em>

_The two of them clashed at each other tirelessly for a while, with one failing to inflict any damage onto the other while his own clothes get torn. Angry at his opponent's ability to fight despite its seemingly lack of a brain, Grimmjow pulls out his Zanpakuto and, at some point afterwards he manages to position his weapon in the middle of the Hollow hole and forcibly slice down. A small feeling of regret for killing it washes over him when the giant explodes. This leaves him lying in a pit of mud and blood, not long before Aizen's subordinates find him._

_It would be the first time Grimmjow met a Hollow made of mud._

* * *

><p>"Grimmjow!"<p>

It wasn't the smartest chose for the sake of one's life to continue washing Grimmjow, Ulquiorra knows that, but when the former suddenly causes him to become even more wet and unable to do what he was told, Ulquiorra can't help but shout again.

"What the fuck do you know about anything? Huh!"

Grimmjow angrily questions, his body twisting slightly so that his back isn't facing the raven-haired. As awkward as this situation would be for anyone else, the lack of understanding between these two make out the fact that one is naked in a tub with another man, is nothing to worry about.

"Damn Hollow attacked me first! If you fucking think I'm lying then go jump in a pool of filth yourself, see if you like it!"

"Aizen-sama already made it clear you were not to go anywhere. So whatever happened outside is your fault."

Ulquiorra's words may be painfully true, but Grimmjow's behavior of going against rules as if doing so is a rule itself, plus his distaste for both Aizen and Ulquiorra, causes him to grab the floating bucket and splash the water inside onto the superior Espada. This time it's Ulquiorra turn to be the one coughing.

"Like fuck do I care! I ain't some slave to stay in this ridiculous place just 'cause some Shinigami tells me to!"

More water fills the bucket and hits Ulquiorra in the face. The raven-haired continues to cough, unable to respond in time to prevent anything from happening to him. His arms can only try to block the attacks.

"If he wants to kill me then fine! Bring it on! I'll show both him and you just how much I hate how he treats me!"

Grimmjow splashes some more water, consciously releasing some of his anger that has been suppressed over the years. At the same time, he feels satisfied with having Ulquiorra in a defenseless state for the first time. He probably is the stronger of the two after all, only Shinigami-picked tattoos say otherwise.

"What do you think about that? Ulquiorra!"

A large wave is sent at Ulquiorra's face and after that, the attacks end. The bucket is left empty and free to float on the water, while the two occupants of the bathtub sit facing each other but with one fully dressed and curled up, hands covering his eyes. Just what in the world provoked him to get so frustrated all of a sudden in the first place is a mystery to Grimmjow, with only his hatred for Ulquiorra being the possible explanation. Even then, most of his words indicate that he hates Aizen far more than he does to Ulquiorra.

Quite out of breath and unsure of what to do next, Grimmjow just sits there as the other gently rubs his own eyes. Everything is so quiet that it kind of makes Grimmjow feel like he became Nnoitra for a moment. The loudest and most bad-mouth member of the Espada, and by far the biggest lover of fighting; that is what the 5th Espada is like. Despite the small similarities between them, Grimmjow dislikes the skinny Arrancar a lot, which is why it is very annoying to believe that he had in some way inherited the latter's behavior.

Most of all, he had done what Nnoitra himself wouldn't do despite what he's like...

He let out his frustration onto their superior, Ulquiorra.

Not that he feels sorry for having done so, but right now he's not entirely sure why he did that. He does feel a bit proud with what he has finally achieved in doing, but to understand that he is in fact mad at Aizen makes it sound all wrong. Yes, Ulquiorra is the most loyal Espada to Aizen, exceeding Zommari by a noticeable amount. Yet, it isn't entirely correct to attack the person that was simply pointing out one's true mistakes.

If the reason for his outburst has nothing to do with the residents of Hueco Mundo, then it can only be that dead caterpillar-like Hollow to be the cause.

Obviously no Hollow is made of mud, so something about that mud is very wrong. If he didn't have past issues with him, Grimmjow would of kept samples of the mud and give them to Szayelaporro, assuming he won't go whining that he didn't get them 'fresh'.

"Aizen-sama created us."

Ulquiorra suddenly announces, his eyes now wide open and looking directly into Grimmjow's. A look that says he's annoyed is visible on his face, more than there ever has been. It is clear now, isn't it? That anything said bad about Aizen is an offense to Ulquiorra, but if Grimmjow was more analytic, he would of noticed exactly how fragile the subject has recently become.

"Without him we would be nothing, after all we are nothing from the very beginning. Do you not see that, Grimmjow? If you disobey him, it's no different from entering a world of denial. Doing that, is meaningless."

Grimmjow looks at Ulquiorra in disbelief, rather shocked at just how poorly does he view his own race and how highly does he hold Aizen. To counter these words with his own would equally be meaningless as going to this 'world' Ulquiorra speaks of. From the day they met, Grimmjow had understood exactly how pointless it would be to change Ulquiorra's view of things, mostly because of how emotionless and empty he is.

Because of that, they are like complete opposites.

**No**. They ARE complete opposites.

"What makes Aizen something, anyway?"

Grimmjow asks not to argue, but to understand just how clear Ulquiorra's understanding is.

"I just said; he created us. He gave us a reason to live when no other being could."

Grimmjow tilts his head slightly, as if to examine any signs of uncertainty on Ulquiorra. Of course, there wouldn't be any on someone so similar to a statue.

"You surely view everything as 'trash', don't you?"

Ulquiorra's eyes show a bit more intent in them and only the most smartest of beings would notice this.

"You say that as if you see meaning in us, meaning that has existed since our births."

As if this conversation would truly land them somewhere, Grimmjow's smile pops up again, though this time it appears more devilishly.

"We are born to fight, to crush our opponents with our increasing strength."

Grimmjow answers with much confidence, however, Ulquiorra seems unfazed by it.

"Then what?"

_...Silence..._

Life had always been about fighting for Hollows. They eat to get stronger so they can fight against stronger beings, and reach a position higher than what they are already at. Even if one manages to reach the top, they will continue to fight those they find worthy or those that wish to challenge them. Life has never been about anything else, for there has never been anything. Because of that, Grimmjow is unable to answer Ulquiorra's question. He is unable to give a rational answer.

Many Arrancars will agree that Aizen has managed to give them something they want, which is in some way giving them a means to exist. Though none would realize soon enough that utter loyalty isn't the best thing to give in return, for it will only be a way for Aizen to manipulate them. Grimmjow knows this so well that it pains him. Maybe that is another reason why...he hates Ulquiorra.

As if it had only just appeared there, Grimmjow's eyes wander over to a particular area on Ulquiorra's neck and notice something that shouldn't be there. He tries to focus on it, to see if it will fade, but it doesn't. The water has made it visible and knowing that their uniforms aren't that thin, makes Grimmjow believe that the thing he sees is really dark on Ulquiorra's skin and is definitely real.

What it means shocks Grimmjow the most, nearly to the point of denial.

"Ulquiorra," He speaks as he allows his eyes to slowly tear away from that area, and onto those green orbs. "What the hell do you and Aizen do at night?"

As if Grimmjow had hit a soft spot yet again, Ulquiorra's eyes widen in surprise. It may not appear so but upon hearing what Grimmjow said, his mind races to figure out what he means and why he asked such a question.

"I don't know-"

His words are cut through.

"Don't fucking play games with me, Ulquiorra. Just what does Aizen do to you behind our backs? Tell me!"

Ulquiorra unconsciously backs away slightly, but having already been sitting as far away as he can from Grimmjow - thanks to his back being against the edge - Ulquiorra can only perform the motion of trying to get away. Something as clear as this, the easily-angered Grimmjow can notice. To say he just saw an illusion would be better, but what he sees Ulquiorra do before him proves that he saw something real.

"I really don't-"

"Quit lying! I know you and Aizen aren't just subordinate and leader. You're far more disgusting than that! Right!"

Sadistic, secretive, overly self-confident; qualities of a man with a dirty side. Only the most loyal will become the victims, which is why Grimmjow believes in what he just said. A thought he had for a long time now.

"What could possibly-"

"That clear hickey on your neck, that's what!"

Bull's eye.

With an accusing finger pointing at the red spot, Grimmjow reveals to Ulquiorra just how did he find out about the seemingly ended moments shared between their creator, and Ulquiorra himself. A hand is brought up to cover said area, not out of confusion but denial, the very act Ulquiorra finds meaningless. His eyes wide open and body paralyzed from the realization, Ulquiorra just sits there feeling...shocked.

There was a chance that Ulquiorra was truly clueless, but that too is proven false.

"So, you do know about it. That means Aizen doesn't just go to your bed and do you during your sleep."

Grimmjow teasingly claims as he leans over to the other, his warm breath nearly touching Ulquiorra's face. Each word is formed from his intense hatred towards both of his superiors, and their little 'activity'. Though not as caring as Starrk, it would of pleased Grimmjow if none of this was true. For who's sake, isn't clear.

"Shut up."

"Huh?"

"Shut up, I said."

Ulquiorra lifts his head up ever-so-slightly, his eyes revealing more hate than ever. Grimmjow isn't afraid of such a look, instead, the words spoken annoy him a lot.

"Ha! Did I embarrass you, Ulquiorra? So maybe he does do that and you just don't give a shit!"

The minute his speech finishes, the minute Ulquiorra brings up a threatening hand and aligns it next to Grimmjow's jawbone. The speed of which is beyond Grimmjow's.

"You know nothing, of what you're talking about."

Even with such a deep and heavy voice speaking to him with a hand so close to his face that he could easily be sent flying into a wall, Grimmjow's smile returns after a brief disappearance.

"Then tell me. Tell me all I fucking-"

Like he had done to Ulquiorra, his own words get cut off this time.

"I've never liked, the things that Aizen-sama, does to me."

Ulquiorra's confession causes Grimmjow's smile to fade, and his face to show exactly how he feels about what he's just heard; surprise. That soaked hand previously covering the hickey, has yet to move from its position near Grimmjow's face.

Devotion to someone will make that person feel no distaste or ill-will towards the former. It can be as heart-breaking or as disgusting as possible, it would make no difference. To the 6th Espada's understanding, Ulquiorra's own devotion was most likely making him alright with being used for sexual pleasure once it ever comes to that.

Aside from hoping that sex wouldn't occur, Grimmjow had heavily doubted that Ulquiorra would object.

"As a mere Hollow, I am not to complain, but," Ulquiorra pauses, having to find the subject too hard to say properly. Grimmjow too, feels that it's rather fragile but isn't too convinced, yet. Somewhere deep down though, he wants to be. "Even for a being without a heart, it is too tormenting."

Ulquiorra buries his head in his knees and wraps his arms around his legs. Ever since his 'birth' as a Hollow, he has never felt such despair that makes him know (if not feel) sadness. Grimmjow, another Hollow that knows emotions, looks down at the tortured superior of his with the understanding that, no one amongst his kind is treated as kindly as they seem to be. Being one of the oldest Numerous, Grimmjow does know a lot more about Aizen's true self than others. With every new Arrancar joining the army he can see a sad fate for them, only brought upon by Aizen. To warn them isn't like himself and no one would believe him until it was too late anyway.

The 4th Espada was never going to be an exception, and his sufferings came much earlier than expected. Also, they were so bad that he couldn't hide it forever.

"Guess even that isn't enough to stop you from continuing."

He didn't mean to say that, it was just a mere thought, but the words had come out in a mocking manner before he couldn't stop himself. Never has he fully wanted Ulquiorra to be used for something as low as pleasure, so his own words hurt him to a certain extent.

"If it had gone on, then I wouldn't be here, with an Espada without any clothes."

Ulquiorra admits, surprising Grimmjow again. The former gets a glimpse of that look when he slowly looks up at the Arrancar partly on his knees. Deep down, he believes he should of said nothing and instead forced the other to get cleaned. That would of been the correct thing to do.

"Are you telling me that this is that damn Aizen's punishment for you too!"

Ulquiorra nods slightly.

"You've gotta be kidding me, Ulquiorra! Who in the Hell would believe that you disobeyed him!"

"Then why else did he pick me?"

Silence fills the atmosphere once more by the hands of the same person. The two Arrancars look into each other's eyes, in search of something to say that will break such 'emptiness'. Ulquiorra has repeatedly been telling facts that can't be denied, yet Grimmjow has been throwing his own personal thoughts about very sensitive subject that have made Ulquiorra appear...as someone with emotions. None of this is right and it shouldn't of turned out this way. For Ulquiorra to remain kept to himself and lifeless as always was the best way for him to behave. As for Grimmjow, he'd be better off shouting at his own Fraccion or Nnoitra than the Espada in front of him.

Yet it all came down to this because of Aizen.

As mentioned earlier, Grimmjow is an Arrancar that has seen so much and knows more than he lets out. Alongside his 5 Fraccion, he has seen other Arrancars bow to Aizen until they fall to their demise, because of him. Those smart remain detached, while others like Ulquiorra cling to Aizen for support. The desire for those like the latter to break free exists somewhere as a faint feeling, but a real one. He may outwardly say things he doesn't want to believe in, but that doesn't mean Grimmjow would prefer to have his words proven as true.

Life isn't as all want it to be, so Grimmjow can't help but to ignore even the things he hopes for.

"Grimmjow, sit down, I can see it."

A tint of pink spreads onto Grimmjow's cheeks when he hears Ulquiorra's words. He knows what the Espada is referring to since some part of him has been aware of how exposed he has left himself. The surface of the water 'it' hasn't exceeded, but the way he has been sitting makes it disturbingly clear. As quickly as possible does Grimmjow sit back down to hide 'it', out of utter embarrassment that he previously thought Ulquiorra had been feeling, when he taunted him. Speaking of the raven-haired, he's still fully dressed but by now his skin is oddly visible; it's a rare sight for anyone to see.

"I bet you're used to seeing such things, right?"

Grimmjow admits that his words are very dirty, even for himself. Though he lacks enough self-control to stop them from slipping out. How helpless.

"Not by choice."

What drives him to say what he says next, is a total mystery. It's also something he couldn't prevent or take control of, no matter how much he wished to.

Not everything he says is intentional anyway.

"Wanna see it again?"

Ulquiorra lightly pushes his back against the edge of the bathtub, instead of replying with words. The weak memories that sight brings back disturbs him, which is why he really doesn't want to see such a private part anymore. His first time setting eyes on 'it', wasn't by choice at all.

Instead of standing up, a smirking Grimmjow leans closer to Ulquiorra until their noses are inches away. Now does he plan to show it, but after noticing just how close they are without any weapons, fists or anything between them for the first time ever, Grimmjow's hand (on its own) places itself on Ulquiorra's left cheek, seconds before Grimmjow presses his lips against Ulquiorra's.

* * *

><p><em>Sitting at his favorite spot inside the room filled with other Arrancars, Grimmjow watches as a new member of his 'family' is being born. Standing not far from him on ground level are Nnoitra and Szayelaporro, a pair that he can hear talking as a boring process is being done.<em>

_"I hear it is a Vasto Lorde-class Meno." Szayelaporro happily claims. _

_"Che. Ya think Aizen can possibly find one when we ourselves searched everywhere already?" Nnoitra argues._

_These two are not the most similar in terms of personality, but at times their goals _do_ become similar and that always leads to a duo that even Grimmjow would rather stay away from. For all he knows, they have managed to cause the deaths of quite a few Arrancars already, and those were no less than Adjuchas-class Menos. It isn't clear if Aizen is aware of these mischievous acts, but Grimmjow believes that as long as they don't 'get rid of' or kidnap one of the strongest of their growing army, Aizen won't mind. _

_"Indeed." Szayelaporro replies._

_Both Nnoitra and Grimmjow would of assaulted the pink-haired at the same time if the birth hadn't finished at that moment. Searching for the strongest of Hollows is an extremely hard and tiring mission, and usually it's either one of them with some others that get sent out. To be underestimated so rudely let alone directly, is very hurtful, and one day Szayelaporro will learn just how lucky he was today should such words slip out again._

_Emerging from the destroyed transparent 'box' is a pale-colored Arrancar with black hair. The most noticeable and astonishing feature about him is his green eyes. They are unlike any other. To look into them can easily make one feel as if they are being sucked into a dark hole that leads to nowhere. _

_Just as the feeling of getting to know this new relative grows, Grimmjow is quickly reminded that he is technically no different from the rest. He will be extremely loyal to Aizen, and at one point, he will realize his mistake. To have to witness such a process so close by is frustrating, so therefore, Grimmjow jumps from his seat and heads for the exit, but he doesn't leave before the new-born announces his name._

_"Ulquiorra Cifer."_

* * *

><p>The bucket happily floats as if forgotten, slowly and slowly does it distance itself from the two Espada that are kissing each other like wild animals. The heat inside the room is building up and only the low temperature of the water is preventing things from getting anymore...out of control.<p>

Exactly when or how, neither know, but at this point Ulquiorra's zipper is back down to where it was last night. The red mark on his neck is exposed, appearing as clearly as Grimmjow thought it would. To some extent the water is splashing around as their hands roam each other but not yet daring to remove anything, to touch anything personal. Rational thoughts have nearly left them, as their own instincts take most control over the movements of their bodies. Things do remain as just kissing until Grimmjow forces himself between Ulquiorra's legs. The response he gets is those very legs wrapping themselves around his waist.

The first thing he feels immediately after is, access.

A free hand forces the zipper down and with both Grimmjow pulls the jacket off and down such slender shoulders before throwing it away. The number 4 tattoo and Hollow hole are in plain sight now. What to do about them hasn't been decided. The only thing that is clear at the moment is that Grimmjow is going to keep up with 'attacking' Ulquiorra's lips by using his own pair and his tongue.

Just why are they doing this when it all began as something else Aizen told them to do is - besides being unknown - is completely unclear.

Nevertheless, Grimmjow's hands continue with taking every last piece of clothing off Ulquiorra, moving on with his black sash which after being undone slides off really smoothly. Without breaking away from the delicious lips, Grimmjow pulls off Ulquiorra's hakama too, only then does he feel gratitude that the latter's Zanpakuto wasn't allowed inside this room. To his surprise, Ulquiorra reaches for his own left boot to remove it himself. Thin fingers slide into it from behind, but wordlessly does Grimmjow assist him with both and excluding the things that indicate they are Hollows, they soon become completely naked.

"Ulquiorra."

Grimmjow moans after parting from their kiss.

Both being out of breath, their chests can be seen expanding and contracting very clearly. As crazy as the idea of 'doing it' has always seemed to them, slowly and slowly are they getting to the point when they will be participating in such an act together. Just why are they and for what reason, is the question one should be asking by now, nothing more, for there really isn't anything with greater importance at the moment.

"Are you going to blast me with a cero?"

The question wasn't meant to be a joke as it sounded, it was said out of pure curiosity, though the words used weren't what Grimmjow had intended to use, leaving the desired meaning unclear.

_Do you want to continue this_, is what Grimmjow wanted to ask but chose not to, for he isn't sure about the answer himself. What they are doing, clearly isn't right at all. Day and night has he faintly cursed Aizen for the great amount of loyalty he has easily extracted from members of the Espada, with one of the reasons being that the Shinigami could attempt to bed any one of them with just the slightest consent and, to think he would proudly do so, sickens Grimmjow greatly. Yet right now, Grimmjow has been laying his own two hands on Aizen's former partner. Why?

"If necessary."

Grimmjow frowns slightly.

"Doesn't this look like a necessary time?"

One half tells the 6th Espada that it is, while another mysterious half says it isn't.

"If it was, you would have tried to do the same already."

Grimmjow sighs, to show he's surrendered. Only to him does it seem impossible to not get annoyed by Ulquiorra, no matter what he says or does. The straight-forwardness is by far not the most lovable characteristic about him.

"I hate it that you know so much."

Grimmjow admits, before placing a gentle kiss on Ulquiorra's lips and moves away. The briefness and gentleness of the kiss is similar to that shared between couples, making it feel rather awkward that they had just copied it. Neither visibly resisted to the gesture, making it feel _more_ awkward. Absent-mindedly, does Ulquiorra touch his lips with his fingers, as if trying to detect something, something unfamiliar. Grimmjow watches him while those eyes look straight forward, no longer staring into his own pair like they had previously been doing.

"Want me to do that again?"

Another sentence slips out without permission. Really, it seems very much like his whole existence is about being rebellious, with every part of him preferring to do as desired. Quietly does Ulquiorra remove his hand and look up at Grimmjow, silently telling the blue-haired a hesitant 'yes'. Without the tinniest hesitation like in the previous kiss, Grimmjow places another. This time he keeps his lips inches from Ulquiorra's after pulling away, lightly hoping that something decent will occur while his confused mind just dazes off, almost peacefully.

"What?"

One day, Grimmjow swears, that he will punch Ulquiorra so hard that he'll forget his own identity, just so the world would be rid of a person like him. Nothing can stop the feeling of annoyance from boiling within him whenever they are together. However, a slight feeling of sympathy for the Arrancar he had long planned on leaving alone does exist, and he would prefer to be without feeling hatred anymore and somehow accept Ulquiorra. Unfortunately, because of his own personality and experience, doing so is unbearably hard.

"Nothing."

Grimmjow answers.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Nothing, I said."

"Grimmjow, what are you-"

"I said nothing! Okay!"

Grimmjow pushes himself away, irritated at just how annoying the other can get. If this whole scenario didn't occur, he would of seriously _killed _Ulquiorra for behaving so 'naive' like this. There shall never be a day when they can understand each other fully (to his own dismay). It has been instinct that has aided them in working together properly, but most of the time it has been Aizen's command. That alone is enough to force their differences aside, even if for a brief moment on certain occasions.

Feeling that silence is returning, Grimmjow quickly makes up his mind and says something.

"If you're scared of this, then I'm going."

Placing a hand on the edge, Grimmjow jumps out of the tub. He would of managed to grab a towel if water didn't suddenly get splashed at him from behind. Turning around, he sees Ulquiorra holding the bucket while glaring at him. He wonders what he had just done wrong. Truthfully, there should be nothing. Kissing, touching, stripping, none of that should of happened. It should be considered a good thing that Grimmjow's unintentionally-rising anger had taken away any temptations to continue it. Virgin or not, Grimmjow mustn't stoop so low to the point where he'd be doing what he had painfully expected Aizen to always do.

"Aizen-sama ordered me to clean you, you can't leave before I have done that."

"You're naked, Ulquiorra, so am I. What the Hell do you think will happen because of that?"

Ulquiorra stays silent for a moment before he replies. At times, Grimmjow does become capable of bringing forth the hateful silence with undeniable facts. In comparison, however, it is often Ulquiorra that possess such an ability.

"Whatever happens is meaningless. Aizen-sama's orders must be fulfilled."

If he wasn't so caught up by what those words could possibly mean, Grimmjow would of assumed Ulquiorra thought that what they almost did was another senseless act beings do. He'd be smart to think that, but instead Grimmjow has the feeling that Ulquiorra is willing to end up 'doing it' with him as long as he can do as he was ordered.

Wrong or stupid to think that, the fact that Grimmjow believes the latter to be the meaning going by how Ulquiorra was when they kissed, brings back a smirk and takes down all restrains.

Almost proudly, does Grimmjow return to the bathtub.


	2. How You Gave Me A 'Heart'

**Title **: We Have No Meaning, But I Still Love You

**Disclaimer** : I do not own any of the Characters of Bleach.

* * *

><p><strong>How You Gave Me A 'Heart'<strong>

Ulquiorra's hands rub Grimmjow's back clean of any filth as his legs hold onto the hips of said Arrancar with much effort. The lips of both of them are in a tight and mouth-watering kiss, which is mostly under Grimmjow's control, while Ulquiorra is trying his best to complete his mission without flaw.

The meaning behind his words were unclear even to himself, with his first guess being that he meant what he said; Aizen's orders are absolute. This changed when Grimmjow started kissing him, touching him and forcing their bodies so close together. Then did he believe that he was actually giving Grimmjow permission to make him re-live the horrible experiences he had with Aizen. To his confusion, however, instead of feeling pain whenever a hand touches, a nail scratches or a tooth pierces his skin, he feels a brand new sensation that he craves for so intensely.

Some part of him is trying to let him understand that, as confused as he feels right now, he enjoys doing this with Grimmjow.

A great amount of doubt arises when Grimmjow's fingers enter that place of his. Pain is what he feels from being violated and for that he instantly pulls away from the kiss, tilts his head back and releases a cry of pain. Grimmjow plants comforting kisses on his jaw and neck, but that alone can't stop him from feeling the familiar pain he wishes to avoid before an even greater one hits him. Unlike Aizen who does as he pleases so slowly that it hurts, Grimmjow is so impatient that it hurts in another way.

To ask which would he prefer is out of the question, for he didn't fully choose either to occur in the first place.

After fully stretching Ulquiorra's entrance with a total of three fingers, Grimmjow pulls them out and places both hands on Ulquiorra's waist. By now it feels very unfortunate to not have blasted the blue-haired with a cero when the chance arose.

In a swift motion, does Grimmjow force himself inside of Ulquiorra for the first time. A loud cry fills the room but is cut short by Grimmjow's immediate rapid movements of pushing in and pulling out. Unable to think straightly anymore, let alone stop himself from moaning, Ulquiorra postpones his mission and holds onto Grimmjow tightly, with no intention of stopping the larger Espada from making love to him.

Assuming love has anything to do with this.

Again and again does Grimmjow hit that spot inside Ulquiorra, forcing out even more sexy sounds that can't be restrained. Similarly, Grimmjow's own movements can't be stopped. Desire has taken a good hold of them and for that they are doing what no being would dream of them ever doing, even at their most vulnerable states.

As if they had nothing to worry about, to fear for, or to do afterwards, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra continue their session with a very faint desire to never stop.

Never.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Moments like this happen so often that it hurts, so Aizen doesn't bother to look up when an intruder opens the door to his chambers and leans themselves against the door frame.

"How many times must I remind you, Gin, not to come in here?"

Gin looks away as if trying to figure out the answer, but his smile makes him look extremely unconvincing, yet he still insists on demonstrating his poor acting skills. It's a surprise how he behaves even while in the presence of the most frightening man ever to exist. Either his brain doesn't function properly or he really does have poor eye sight, preventing him from seeing anything clearly. Only a fool wouldn't be paralyzed to some extent if they were to appear before Aizen.

It is because of how Gin behaves, does Aizen wonder if he really is smart himself.

Though never would he admit to having such doubts.

"I don't know, Captain Aizen, since you've hardly said it directly that I can't."

A lack of dignity in himself would of resulted in Aizen attacking Gin with his Zanpakuto, something that he is rather tempted to do despite how highly he holds himself. True as Gin said, he has never said he can't come in in a straight-forward manner, but doing so isn't the proper way a soon-to-be-a-God should act. Exactly how one should act, Aizen has limited knowledge of, but finds that acceptable for he will end up being the one to decide.

"That reminds me. Why are the lights off in here? Is Captain Aizen in a gloomy mood?"

To his dismay, Aizen finds that looking at his Shinigami subordinate is the best way to talk some sense into him. If one were to just sit on the edge of a bed, head down while being in a dark room, will only gain a thousand self-answered questions from this fox-faced person. Right now, that is what Aizen wants to avoid most.

"I would feel much better if you go and check on Kaname and see how he's doing."

"But what about you? You-"

"I mean it, Gin."

Unable to hold back _all_ hints of annoyance, Aizen reveals a bit more of a demanding tone that by now, the younger Shinigami knows all too well. Seeing his chance to pester the brown-haired gone, Gin keeps up his smile as he steps away carefully.

"Alright then, bye-bye."

The door closes once the intruder exits the dark room. A single candle is what is preventing everything from being consumed by the color black, a color that Aizen feels most comfortable being in at the moment. Gin was right when he said that Aizen was feeling a bit down, and that's only because he feels disappointed. Ulquiorra Cifer, a very loyal Arrancar, has shown that he doesn't fully wish to do as told and even went as far as to ignore an order said more than once.

Aizen had hoped he could spare Ulquiorra a lot of mercy in return for his dedication, possibly have him become a right-hand man if Gin or Tosen ever failed him. Right now it has become painfully clear that all Hollows know no loyalty or obedience, and are truly little tools to be used for one's satisfaction. It doesn't matter their size or gender, every Hollow is the same and so is every human, with no real difference between each individual. A mix is the only unique being and the only known one to truly prove this is Kurosaki Ichigo.

Just one boy though, doesn't help to make every other species worth giving a chance, or so he understands now. Before he had been foolish enough to try and give Hollows a bit of a chance, especially those unique such as Harribel. Besides having been a Hollow for some time, she demonstrated the will to protect others. Szayelaporro, a very lewd Hollow but also a very intelligent one that Aizen couldn't keep out from the Espada for too long.

All of them turn out to be mere objects in the end, and it ends up being Ulquiorra that has proven this to him. Believable or not, all Aizen has to do now is to ignore Ulquiorra's well-being and when the time comes, he'll die fighting for his god.

That is all that can be done and needs to be done, now.

After some time, Aizen smirks.

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere...<em>

Grimmjow is confident that if he wasn't so worried about drowning, he would of fallen asleep while Ulquiorra was cleaning him up. Those hands that can turn from being insanely tough to abnormally soft, thoroughly examine his body in search for anything that needs to be scrubbed off, with the yellow sponge.

Both of them are still completely exposed from head to toe, with only the areas their Hollow masks cover up being unseen. From now on it feels that they'll never have trouble being naked together, but of course that is for them to understand privately and only them. No one must know of what just occurred in this room, and if somehow someone does find out, to kill them is all that can be done.

This secret of theirs is still something hard to believe even for them and because of that, it is truly best to keep it as something only they know.

Ulquiorra's dying loyalty for Aizen is unable to prevent him from wordlessly agreeing to keeping a secret, and that is something Grimmjow is grateful about.

As those hands continue to search Grimmjow's muscular body, something suddenly pops up inside the mind of the tired Espada, who suddenly grabs Ulquiorra's right hand, surprising him. Grimmjow turns round to face his partner, looking unusually serious, Ulquiorra notices. Letting go of the hand, Grimmjow takes one good review of his words before he says them out loud. He has already gotten sick of saying things he doesn't mean to speak out.

"Remember you told me that Aizen gave us a meaning?"

Ulquiorra nods, unsure what words he could use that wouldn't earn him a bad reaction. A sudden need for a conversation is always something to be suspicious about, so Ulquiorra sees himself in no position to start speaking his thoughts.

"Do you still believe in that?"

Ulquiorra's eyes widen, a clear sign that he's a bit more surprised. In need of getting his answer out, Grimmjow isn't going to do anything that will make Ulquiorra refuse to give one, assuming that he might not anyway after what just happened.

"If I cease to believe that I have meaning because of Aizen-sama, then wouldn't that render me without meaning any longer?"

Grimmjow smiles a bit, content that nothing else besides another good question was said.

"Then how about letting me give you some meaning?"

Grimmjow asks as he inches slightly towards Ulquiorra, his smile visibly wider. The raven-haired reveals a very puzzled look.

"You?"

A frown replaces the joy on his face as the blue-haired pulls back immediately, similar to someone that just got disappointed or slightly offended.

"Or you're happy with it being Aizen as it is?"

He asks.

"Grimmjow, what do you mean by you giving me a meaning? How could you possibly do that?"

The smile doesn't return.

"I can do that because I can, got any problem letting me?"

"It is impossible."

"Then how did fucking Aizen achieve something impossible?"

"I told you, he created us."

Silence once more, to the annoyance of Grimmjow. If he no longer found it wrong to go all-out again on Ulquiorra, he would of done so by now. Being the negative member of the Espada, he is good at annoying Grimmjow even if he doesn't mean to. However it seems what Ulquiorra says that pisses Grimmjow off the most isn't his own opinions, but the facts and truth that are rather hard to accept.

"I've done nothing for you, have I?"

He believes to have merely stated the obvious, but Ulquiorra's features express shock as Grimmjow looks away, no longer wanting to look into Ulquiorra's eyes and reveal a bit of self-hatred. He should of known better than to listen to the feeling in his chest that was claiming, that something had transpired between him and Aizen's favorite Espada. He was wrong to let such a small thing make him feel or think differently. He's a fool for saying something.

A cold hand grabs his own and Grimmjow responds by looking back down at the Espada before him, wondering what he could possibly want after what was just said.

"You have, Grimmjow. If you insist that it means something, then..." Ulquiorra's voice and gaze trail off before he manages to resume his speech. "...As you wish."

It happened out of pure habit, it felt, when Grimmjow went and kissed Ulquiorra's lips as he cupped his face. There was no sign of an incoming attack when their lips parted, only the slight feeling of confusion was left inside Grimmjow. If this really does turn into a habit, then their secret will be exposed in no time.

"What the Hell did I do?"

Grimmjow asks, curiously.

"You gave me a 'heart'."

Grimmjow would of asked exactly what does Ulquiorra mean when he said the word 'heart', but he could say no more when the latter kisses him and slowly leans forward, dropping a bit of his weight onto Grimmjow. They know they aren't going to have sex again, but some time in the future they might. What exactly will lead to it is a mystery, one that they are quite willing to wait and see. With one hand supporting Grimmjow's body, the two resume their kiss with Ulquiorra somewhat resting on top of the former. Both of Ulquiorra's arms are bent and are resting on Grimmjow's chest, while the other arm of Grimmjow is wrapped around Ulquiorra's body, in a very protective way.

A 'heart' is something Ulquiorra thought he could never have for it never had a form, making it something he couldn't see. Things that he couldn't see couldn't exist, that is what he learned. A 'heart' is something humans know best and from what he's heard it is also something that takes away the emptiness inside someone. Ulquiorra was born with that feeling deep inside the core of his existence and has gotten so used to it that he does forget about it. A while ago, no, after Grimmjow had released inside of him, that feeling got filled up with some strange sensation. Ulquiorra wanted to see what it was but couldn't, and until hearing Grimmjow ask if he had done anything for him, only then did he realize that it didn't matter if he could see it or not.

It was there.

Right there.

Inside of him.

With a 'heart', he can have a new meaning. The reality that Aizen owns him for being his creator stays, but he won't be so obedient as to let him do everything he wishes. Not every order will be followed entirely. Ulquiorra will have his way, even if a tiny bit, for the sake of maintaining his 'heart'.

"Grimmjow."

Ulquiorra whispers.

* * *

><p><em>Later...<em>

Walking down the empty hall, dressed in spotless clothing, is the 4th Espada Ulquiorra Cifer. Lurking within the darkness of this unreasonably large area, that is identical to many others, is a little fox that Ulquiorra has yet to notice. This little fox is spying on the Espada in hopes of finding the right moment to pop up, and reveal his presence in an unexpected fashion. His mind partly elsewhere, Ulquiorra does indeed fail to comprehend the sudden statement made by Gin. He tries though, to hide the fact that the other got what he wanted.

"Ya tell him yet?"

Gin asks as he emerges from the shadows, his sneaky smile still visible. Frozen at his spot, hands in pockets, legs straight and Zanpakuto neatly in its sheath, Ulquiorra simply looks sideways when he gives a reply.

"Who?"

Gin approaches Ulquiorra a bit more, looking rather amused by the reply. No one, not even Aizen, can ever guess the true reason as to why.

"Don't tell me ya didn't know. I thought ya were gonna tell 'im 'cause you...umm...showered him?"

As much as he would prefer not to speak of the few hours he spent with Grimmjow alone, Ulquiorra keeps up his emotionless expression and chooses not to give a silent treatment.

"You mean Grimmjow?"

"Yup! Too bad ya didn't know today was his birthday."

Gin announces, hoping very much to get a good and rare reaction.

In truth, Ulquiorra is shocked that today is (seemingly) Grimmjow's birthday and is unsure of what to say about it, not to Gin but to the person in question. All that can be said is that Ulquiorra might have already given a birthday present to his partner, which is himself. To think that this is something he had done as well kind of makes him feel uncomfortable, for that was not how he thought about it when it happened.

"I see." Ulquiorra plainly says. "Excuse me, but I must report to Aizen-sama as soon as possible."

To Gin's dismay, Ulquiorra remains unfazed by the news that has been known by quite a few, with him unfortunately not knowing about it. Gin does enjoy keeping notes of birthdays of everyone, for it is a special day that is entitled to each individual, and depending on who that is, it carries a special and some times a unique meaning. Just before Ulquiorra walks out of hearing zone, Gin drops the subject and decides to speak of the very thing he had been hoping to talk about.

"Don't let Captain Aizen use you!"

He happily shouts, and as expected, he catches Ulquiorra's attention enough to stop him from walking. Gin turns his back on the Espada before they can make eye contact. Being the only two that are present in the hall, they are not disturbed as Ulquiorra looks back at Gin suspiciously while being unaware that the smile he knows so well has faded.

One does know how much he likes to tease Aizen especially by sneaking into his room, but one doesn't know the motives behind them, or behind anything he does. What took Grimmjow and Ulquiorra so long to emerge from one of the lower floors hasn't been found out, though Gin wouldn't mind leaving it that way. However, what went on once a week at night between Aizen and Ulquiorra, _that_, Gin knows well.

As a subordinate of Aizen as well, Gin can only do so little that it hurts, but he'll try to send messages over even if it takes years for someone to crack it. For as long as he tries, things should be alright, no? Raising a hand up and waving it as a sign of 'goodbye', Gin hopes that Ulquiorra understands it and leaves, which he does without a second thought.

Just like that the two part ways, with what transpired between them being as blurry as what transpired between Grimmjow and Ulquiorra.

Aizen may be great as everyone admits, but by being the devil he is, no one can truly respect him.

No one.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

The artificial sun is very bright and it makes everything seem so full of life, when in truth it shouldn't be like this in Hueco Mundo. To complain would mean to go die, that is what everyone has learned. If something isn't liked about in Las Noches, it won't change unless Aizen were to have the same feeling. That has yet to happen for quite some time, sadly.

Sitting on top of a boulder next to little dog, is Tesra.

How everything is in Hueco Mundo is much to his disliking but being a mere Fraccion keeps him from saying anything. Even the Espada can't complain, making it twice as impossible from him to do so. His duty, as he has learned the hard way, is to obey Nnoitra's every command. Even if his master is in danger, he mustn't do anything unless he is told to. That is one of the many rules he must obey.

He can fear the chances of Yammy using his Zanpakuto as much as he wants, but he can't interfere with the fight that is going on before his very own eyes, between Yammy and his master. The desire to step in is strong, and even the dog besides him feels it. Neither Espada should be allowed to die but the chances of that are too high. Thinking back around the time the former 3rd Espada, Neliel, disappeared, reminds him just how uncaring Aizen can be towards the well-beings of his top ten strongest Arrancar. When she never returned to them, Aizen simply had those that were left to search for a replacement.

This is proof that if something were to happen to either Yammy or Nnoitra, there would be no sympathy for them.

Which is why the urge to fight alongside Nnoitra is so strong right now.

Tesra nearly becomes startled when he feels a hand tap his shoulder, but calms down when he looks and sees that it is Yylfordt. Seeing this person either means that Szayelaporro or Grimmjow is in the area, but no one besides them 5 are within the reach of his senses. This leaves Tesra unsure why the blonde has approached him, especially when they don't get along well because of their masters's strained relationship.

Noticing the smile on Yylfordt's face, a clue to his question pops up and he looks away, preferring to keep an eye on Nnoitra if that is all he is allowed to do.

"Nnoitra-sama will win."

Tesra proudly states, believing that Yylfordt is expecting a monster-sized pool of blood to be created from both Espada. For a while now he has learned that Grimmjow's Fraccion are cocky, lovers of fighting, and care little for anyone but themselves. Knowing this makes him understand that all they hope for from a battle they see, is not a winner they are voting for but a sight that is insanely gruesome.

If it is Nnoitra's battle they are watching, then he will take the look of satisfaction they have as an offense.

"Like I care! I'm only here to see how much blood they're going to spill."

Yylfordt says, his eyes focusing on how the two superior fighters are lashing out at each other. It isn't everyday one gets to see the largest and tallest members of the Espada clash in a fight, rather than firing insults at each other.

"The only blood that will be spilled, is Yammy's."

"You sure respect your master a lot, guess it'd be a pain if he got cut down, huh?"

As if he hadn't already seen how far Tesra's loyalty can go, Yylfordt looks back down at the smaller Fraccion, and speaks in a tone that is almost challenging but also mocking.

"Nnoitra-sama will never fall."

Out of irritation, Yylfordt somewhat slaps Tesra off the boulder and laughs.

"You sure are a cocky one, aren't you?"

The sound of a dog barking catches Yylfordt's attention and he turns to Yammy's Fraccion, Kukkapuuro. Instead of focusing on its master like it always does, it seems to be distracted by Yylfordt's sudden arrival. Being the merciless Hollow he is, he reaches down and grabs the dog's head before throwing it into the wall behind them.

"Stupid pest."

He says.

Tesra sits up on the sand and glares at Yylfordt, who then makes eye contact with him. For as long as their masters's hate each other, they will never get along. Their clear differences can be put aside to some extent if a proper alliance is made between the 5th and 6th Espada, but until then, the hostility that surrounds them will remain.

"Piece of crap!"

If Yammy's voice didn't catch their attention, the two Fraccion would of attacked each other. When they look to see what is going on, their faces reveal slight horror. Yammy is reaching for his Zanpakuto, and everyone in Las Noches doesn't want the Espada of rage to release at all. Ignoring the dog that drops down from the crack in the pillar, Yylfordt and Tesra rush over to the large Arrancar to stop him from going-all-out.

Doing this, Nnoitra is most likely not to complain. He is currently injured from a powerful punch and is sitting on the sand, eye wide open as Yammy gets into a little fight with two Fraccion. He is curious, as to when did Yylfordt get here.

Behind the pillar Kukkapuuro had been thrown at, is Di Roy. Instead of revealing his presence alongside his comrade, Di Roy chose to keep a good distance between him and the Espada. As the dangerous Zanpakuto, Ira, gets forcibly snatched away, the amused Di Roy gets approached by an unexpected person. He immediately notices this and looks at the other, a look of surprise clear on his face.

"Where is Grimmjow?"

The Shinigami asks him demandingly, and as much as he wouldn't mind getting his master in trouble every now and then, he is unable to give a good answer.

_He doesn't know either._

Ever since Grimmjow ran off from Las Noches unauthorized, Di Roy and the rest of the former's Fraccion haven't seen him. A couple of hours ago Shawlong said that he had been brought back, covered in filth. True or not, Di Roy really didn't care, for it felt better to just explore different areas with and without his comrades. He would try hard not to break any rules, and would feel a bit of pity towards Grimmjow whenever the latter broke some.

To the Shinigami's annoyance, Di Roy appears to be as clueless as he feared. Amongst all the Fraccion, it is Grimmjow's lot that know little about the things Grimmjow does. To blame him for his lack of concern isn't entirely correct, so instead of giving any form of punishment, the Shinigami says one final thing.

"Next time, keep an eye on Grimmjow, or you will become responsible."

Di Roy has no time to respond, for the blind Shinigami vanishes instantly. To somewhat babysit Grimmjow is stupid when he thinks about it, and he knows better than to actually believe that doing so is necessary. Indeed, his master is a wild one, but that doesn't entirely mean that weaker individuals have to watch his every step so he could never go missing.

As much as he'd prefer not to disobey an order or take responsibility for another's actions - let alone his own - Di Roy turns round and resumes watching the 'show'. Yammy is furious but now without his Zanpakuto. Tesra seems to have been knocked unconscious while Yylfordt is badly injured and barely on his knees. Kukkapuuro is just standing there, barking, a few inches from himself.

Nnoitra looks exhausted but also delighted, with both his own Zanpakuto and Yammy's in his possession. It might be best not to know what will happen next, but in fear of Yylfordt assaulting him for running away again, he'll try and stay a bit longer. Assuming he won't die first.

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere...<em>

It has been a while since Grimmjow welcomed silence into the atmosphere. Earlier he had been getting very annoyed by it, but now he desires it more than anything. A 'heart', is what Ulquiorra claims to have received from him during their time together. What exactly does he mean by that he isn't sure, and hopes for a chance to ask him some time in the future.

The new clothes that have been given to him are being worn right now, while he lies on top of his bed with his arms bent and hands placed under his head. This isn't the most relaxing place to be in Las Noches, but Grimmjow wishes to be somewhere that he is most likely to be alone.

He has just spent hours with Ulquiorra, and wouldn't mind extending that time to an eternity. The mutual understanding that Aizen is expecting a report from Ulquiorra, and that Grimmjow was suppose to get cleaned, are what separated them against their will. For as long as they appear in public or someone is expecting something from them, no affectionate words or gentle kisses can be exchanged. The seemingly vanished hatred that existed between them is to remain so that there will be no suspicion, but how well can Grimmjow pretend to want to treat Ulquiorra poorly like before, is doubtful.

Just the mere thought of the 4th Espada makes Grimmjow's heart race, mind spin and body heat up. The greatest enjoyment he has ever experienced is when he had sex with the other, and to be constantly aware of that only makes it harder to think of Ulquiorra as someone disgusting. What exactly does he feel for Ulquiorra at the moment is unclear, to his frustration. He knows he must pretend that nothing happened as he had agreed to, but with his feelings for the one he thought was full of happiness in his life so blurry, he doesn't think he's prepared to act just yet.

Those lips he had kissed so often a while ago, the very taste is so clear in his mouth that he craves for more. Those rare expressions and confessions he saw and heard, still linger in his memories as clearly as the sun's light. Before he knew so little of Ulquiorra, now he knows so much it feels impossible to ignore that reality for the sake of them both.

"Ul...qui...or...ra...!"

Grimmjow growls as he cover his eyes with his hands, trying to block out or suppress the images of his partner, the person he can no longer hate. Even though he swore to punch Ulquiorra - out of frustration towards his personality - Grimmjow's mind is loudly screaming at him that he is a fool for thinking that, while a tiny fraction of him uncontrolled by his new feelings, is saying that he shouldn't listen and carry on, as he should be.

To ignore is what he wants to do, but that is far more harder than anything Grimmjow has ever done.

It this strange sensation, what Ulquiorra was referring to?

Was he talking about...love?

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Having returned from his confrontation with Di Roy, the loyal Shinigami-subordinate of Aizen begins watching from a safe distance within Aizen's view, the 4th Espada stand seemingly paralyzed at his spot. What was just said, Tosen didn't quite catch it in time, and to ask Gin who is standing opposite from him and right below Aizen won't do him any good.

In truth, Gin had only just appeared seconds before Tosen, looking as delighted about something as always. What Tosen doesn't know that he does, is the question Aizen asked that rendered Ulquiorra in this state. His green eyes wide open and looking at the floor, one hand curled up on his chest, and body as still as a real statue.

_"Tonight, and I will give you another chance."_

Gin heard this sentence as he stepped in, and he can only guess that it was said suddenly after the report was given. Ulquiorra couldn't of walked _that_ fast, right? Whatever the truth was, Gin is going to keep his eyes out for something terrible that will really hurt the Espada, not that he hasn't already given that duty to the Espada in question, but if things do go too far, he'll try and help quietly.

"Well?"

Aizen kindly asks, wishing to hear an answer from his (formerly) loyal subordinate.

"..."

No words are said, for Ulquiorra doesn't know what to say that won't make things worse. He had anticipated such an offer, but the release of reiatsu that is focused on him plus his wish to save his body for Grimmjow, makes his throat dry and mind unable to think straightly. If he must, he must sleep with Aizen to keep his secret, but for some reason he can't say 'yes' or simply bow. His mind won't let him and some part of him refuses like it did last night.

"Please answer me, Ulquiorra."

The begging in his tone makes him sound desperate and rather sweet, but Ulquiorra can feel the change in the reiatsu that reveals how angry he has made Aizen. If he gets executed, then he'll die along with his heart and leave Grimmjow behind. Although their secret will also die, the thought of leaving Grimmjow is-

"If you refuse to give me answer, then I will decide for you."

Hearing these words shock Ulquiorra, and for the first time in public he reveals an express that shows how he feels. Aizen simply smiles back, looking delighted, as he removes his reiatsu and permits Ulquiorra to leave. The latter does as allowed, but deep down he feels like death would of been a better choice.

This is just too much.


	3. How We Said Goodbye

**Title **: We Have No Meaning, But I Still Love You

**Disclaimer **: I do not own any of the Characters including Bleach.

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><p><strong>How We Said Goodbye<strong>

Grimmjow squashes the head of a Hollow he defeated with much enjoyment. He can never get enough of running away from Las Noches to kill some weaklings. One day he'll get in big trouble, but even while knowing that he still can't stop himself. Being out here does make him feel more relaxed, less tense and more in control of his own thoughts.

What kind of poison does Aizen make them breathe in while inside that massive fortress is a mystery, though he couldn't care less about it as long as he manages to run off and have fun like this.

As he continues to stomp on the remains of today's victims, something towers over him from behind and he notices this by looking at the shadow that appears. What he sees - to his surprise - are 4 caterpillar-like Hollows that are identical to the one he fought and got dirty because of. The knowledge that he has to fight them and surely get messy because of them, pisses him off to a great amount. Before he has a chance to plan his next move, a Hollow double the size of those before him reveals itself by emerging from behind the four.

Besides the many pointy nails or legs that stick out in a straight line on both sides of it, this new Hollow is identical to the others. Is it stronger or not, Grimmjow isn't sure and would rather find out while they fight instead.

"Fool!" The enormous Hollow shouts, proof that it does have some sort of a brain. "You think you can beat my self-created army?"

Grimmjow is slightly taken aback by this question, but shows a satisfied grin anyway.

"Self-created? You saying you made these freaks?"

To answer Grimmjow's question, the Hollow squirts out mud from its wide round mouth that hurls back down and forms itself into another 'caterpillar'. In other words, he or it did make them.

"My name is Gargoyle, and farewell Arrancar, you will die because of your stupidity."

Says the proud Hollow.

"Like Hell I'll-"

Before Grimmjow can reply, his whole body stops moving. Every little muscle inside of him refuses to respond and he is unable to move an inch. No matter how hard he tries, he can't move.

"FOOL!" Gargoyle shouts again. "The mud from my mouth, I control! It is inside you because you killed one of my own! HAHAHAHA!"

Gargoyle laughs proudly as his minions charge at the defenseless Grimmjow. The ability to think and use it to curse himself is all he can do, but as all seemed lost for him, something cuts the Hollows to shreds and before they explode, Grimmjow is carried off into a distance.

When his feet touch the sand, Grimmjow tries to look around but can't. The need to do so fades when his savior appears within his eye sight, and to his shock, it is Ulquiorra. No, it is Ulquiorra in his released state. Large black wings extend from his back, soft black hair longer and more messy. The Hollow mask now centers on top of his head. The outfit worn looks more like a robe, nearly covering his feet. When he turns to look at Grimmjow, the changes to his tear marks are clear. They are black, larger and more triangular in shape.

This is the first time Grimmjow has seen him in this form and has longed to see it very much.

"Watch, and see what kind of Hollow I truly am."

Grimmjow wants to understand these words but is left behind when Ulquiorra flies off at an incredible speed, and goes directly at the Hollow much large than himself. Gargoyle only laughs at the challenge, but before Grimmjow could fully realize that he had failed to notice the weapon in Ulquiorra's hand, it is used to slice Gargoyle to pieces in less than a second.

The explosion is great, resembling a huge tsunami. To protect them both, Ulquiorra grabs Grimmjow and flies away. How far does he plan to go, Grimmjow doesn't know. Slowly does he regain control of himself, but as he does he is forced to cough out mud. Ulquiorra squeezes him tightly around the stomach, helping him force out the substance.

After some time they remain in the air as Grimmjow painfully frees himself from the mud, wordlessly thanking Ulquiorra for everything as he does. When it seems that at least 90% of it is out, Ulquiorra settles both of them somewhere far far away from Las Noches. As big as the fortress is, from where they are it is not visible. It has been a very long time since Grimmjow managed to stand somewhere in Hueco Mundo where that new home of his is not visible.

Looking back at his partner (who he had not seen for a long time), Grimmjow reaches to touch the cheek but is slapped away. Confused, Grimmjow forcibly grabs the chin and makes Ulquiorra look at him. This isn't right, that look on Ulquiorra's face seems too serious and full of despair, just like the reiatsu that surrounds him. He may know little of the Resurreccion form, but he knows enough of Ulquiorra to understand that something is definitely wrong.

"What is it?"

He asks, but his wrist only gets grabbed and pulled away. Ulquiorra resumes looking anywhere but in front of him.

To knock a bit of sense or reason into the Espada, Grimmjow cups his cheeks and kisses him fiercely. For a while Ulquiorra doesn't resist, a sign that he isn't entirely disturbed by something, but when he pushes away, Grimmjow's determination to find the answer grows.

"What the Hell is wrong with you, Ulquiorra!"

Ulquiorra remains silent and looks away, a hint of sadness on his face.

Out of slight desperation and longing-ness, Grimmjow kisses him again and again, trying not to get too frustrated every time he is brushed off. Eventually, does Ulquiorra say something after he uses extra force to separate them.

"Stop it! Don't do such a thing to a Hollow like me."

Momentarily as he spoke did he glare at Grimmjow, but then goes back to looking away.

"What are you talking about? Has Aizen done something to you to make you this way? Tell me!"

Silence, and so Grimmjow kisses him again.

"Ulquiorra, I..."

Only a tiny bit, does Ulquiorra turn to look at Grimmjow.

For nearly a whole day he has not seen Ulquiorra or even heard of him. All he did while wondering where his partner went was to tirelessly think about him. Every second of this morning was consumed by desires to be with Ulquiorra again, and the best way for him to avoid that - not that he really cared that much about his obsession - was to leave Las Noches and kill some Hollows. It was before he had broken the same rule again, did his mind finally figure out the answer to his question that time.

What Ulquiorra meant by saying 'heart', he hasn't confirmed yet. However, what he now feels for Ulquiorra no matter how sickening it sounds, is...

"I love you."

Grimmjow confesses, even surprising himself for going so far in such a short time. Ulquiorra fully turns his head to look at Grimmjow, shock clearly written all over his face. At the beginning he blamed the Hollow he fought for it, this strange feeling, but Gargoyle recently made him understand that doing so was wrong. Next he blamed Aizen and briefly Ulquiorra, later himself. Now only himself.

He won't continue denying its existence if he can't fight back any longer.

What his mind and body want now is Ulquiorra Cifer, and that is all.

"No."

_What?_

Ulquiorra shakes his head slightly, a look of disappointment now visible.

"It is futile, Grimmjow. I am nothing. Aizen-sama has made it clear to me."

Hearing that name angers Grimmjow greatly, and because of his anger does he grab Ulquiorra's arm and shout.

"What did Aizen do to you!"

To put it into words, detailed or not, would take an unwanted amount of time. The shortest way he can send the message over, is to place the hand of his free arm on the right side of his neck. That truly is all he needs to do for Grimmjow to know what Aizen had done.

Grimmjow won't accept it.

His hand begins to crush Ulquiorra's arm, but even though it hurts, Ulquiorra chooses to remain silent. He doesn't have that much meaning to be able to complain.

"...Why...are you in this form, Ulquiorra?"

Ulquiorra removes his hand from his neck, and slowly summons that empty look back to its original way.

"To heal my wounds in time to save you."

Convinced, Grimmjow's temper drops down a bit and his hold on Ulquiorra softens.

"Because I gave you meaning?"

"Because Aizen-sama needs everyone alive."

Grimmjow regrets having not stopped himself, and can only hope that Ulquiorra isn't mad at him for using the hand that had been hurting him, to slap his face so hard he turns and falls onto the sand. He wants to apologize somehow, he absolutely didn't mean it, but as he gets closer ever so slowly to his beloved, Ulquiorra makes a choice.

Seeing only a path of despair even when there are others paths or options ahead, he takes the one he believes exists. For that, his body gets consumed by thick, black and green reiatsu that cause Grimmjow's feet to become frozen, his body slightly paralyzed. Unsure what the other is doing, but needing to know, Grimmjow tries to move only to feel an insane amount of despair rushing from Ulquiorra's reiatsu and into his own heart.

In reality, Ulquiorra has always been the stronger of the two.

He should of just accepted that from the beginning.

"Resurreccion, Segunda Etapa."

Ulquiorra whispers, and upon hearing the first word Grimmjow becomes puzzled.

_Another...Resurreccion form? _

The reiatsu 'bursts' away, and lying on the sand in the stead of Ulquiorra's clothed bat form is a new form, which appears more beastly and terrifying. The large wings remain, but the Hollow mask is gone and is replaced with two white horns. His eyes are yellow and his sclera are green. His tear marks are also larger. The most noticeable change is the rest of him. The robe is gone, revealing his tattoo-less chest and a larger Hollow hole with trails of black liquid having dripped from it. From his waist down black fur covers all, including his arms. A long tail is visible too.

What Grimmjow sees before himself is something he had never imagined to see.

Ulquiorra looks more like a Hollow than ever and there is nothing incorrect about that. A bat, he resembles, one that is drowned in despair that can be transferred over to anyone.

Is this what he meant when he told him to see...what kind of Hollow he truly is?

"Look at me, Grimmjow. This is my second, and most true form."

Ulquiorra states, eyeing the weaker Espada with eyes full of emptiness. Grimmjow looks at him in horror, in disbelief, just as Ulquiorra had expected. Soon this person will want to abandon his hopes and leave him alone, never to think of him in the wrong light again. That is how everything should be between them. Lack of hope for a better relationship must exist, or nothing will be right. He is a creature born without a meaning, he knows and Aizen has reminded him of that too. Nothing shall be allowed to change that. No feeling or desire can twist reality for one's benefit. Not in a millions years.

Never.

"So?"

It took a lot of guts to speak so bravely while being pressed down by Ulquiorra's reiatsu, leaving even Grimmjow stunned by his own words that take Ulquiorra completely by surprise. The 4th Espada looks back at Grimmjow, feeling mixed emotions about what was just said. Can't he see? Can't he feel? This is what the person he claims to love truly is like. What else is there to do or say besides accept it and walk away?

Nothing, of course.

"So what? Ulquiorra. You're like this, and! What do you want me to do about it! All I can fucking do is kiss you!"

Unable to understand just what is Grimmjow thinking even after seeing this form, feeling this reiatsu, the lonely Ulquiorra sits up and looks at Grimmjow with angry eyes. He knows what he is going to do, so he doesn't react much when Grimmjow kneels down and kisses him as he said he could. Their tongues become entangled as their bodies wrap around each other. Ulquiorra can feel such a warm sensation that he wishes to keep, but fears that the reality Aizen spoke of as he raped him will make everything much more 'freezing' eventually.

Ulquiorra attempts to push away, but Grimmjow's tight hold makes him reconsider almost immediately after he tries. Instead of keeping up his protests, Ulquiorra's bat-like wings enclose the two of them in darkness. It is not to grant more despair, but to symbolize that Grimmjow is his possession.

Grimmjow finds himself knowing this by heart, which is why he doesn't stop kissing the Espada that sheds a tear.

* * *

><p><em>Some time later...<em>

Gin is a naughty fox, not because of his unreadable mind that could be thinking of anything at any time, but because of his method in doing things.

As intended, he will help Ulquiorra from suffering at the hands of Aizen whenever the chance emerges. If the former fails to help himself enough, then there is nothing Gin can do. If he does succeed in trying, then there is always something Gin can do without becoming suspicious.

After Ulquiorra was raped, Gin hoped for him to run away in search for some comfort somewhere. Whatever Aizen stuffed into his head, it shouldn't be too much for the strong-willed Espada to resist long enough to find a way to recover. Going by how silent Ulquiorra was at the time he gave a report, Gin believes he had found something worth focusing on. Helplessly curious about what it could be, Gin's unconfirmed answer turned out to be the very distracted Grimmjow, who wandered the halls without any destination until he left Las Noches again. The fact that his mind was searching for clues, made him consider Grimmjow. It makes more sense if one was to remember the time the two Espada had spent alone together in the cleaning room.

What happened in there is none of Gin's business, but when Ulquiorra raced off to the roof of Las Noches despite his condition, Gin became very confident with his guess. Believing the two are together again, Gin began trying to prevent mostly Aizen from suspecting them.

He did so how?

Exchanging rare materials from Hollows he had encountered some time ago, Gin received help from Szayelaporro in setting up traps for Yammy. Using illusions, Yammy kept seeing his confiscated Zanpakuto and fellow Espada wherever he went. This soon made him extremely mad and having been entrusted with the duty of maintaining peace, Tosen was forced to try and stop him. Despite his skills, doing so was surprisingly hard.

Szayelaporro kept watch of Yammy and Tosen for as long as he wanted while Gin ran off to keep Aizen busy. His plan was not to create havoc or that will mean death, so instead he decided to either get into a crazy conversation or force him into a game of chess. Having been playing with Baraggan occasionally has made him rather skilled, but has he become good enough to beat Aizen is unknown.

Things went by better than expected, in one of the rarely occupied rooms, but only because Aizen had gotten into a good mood from torturing Ulquiorra.

For at least an hour Gin had fun playing with his superior, while remembering the time he was just a child and used to play throwing daggers. One time, he 'accidently' pinned the then-lieutenant to a wall. He quickly freed him, but couldn't stop laughing the whole of that night at all.

Gin may have always expressed enjoyment in playing such games, but in truth, this little fox is just plain cruel because of his motives.

He does as he wishes, nothing else.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Sneaking back into Las Noches turned out to be easier than Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had thought, since they were expecting either Tosen or Aizen to confront them for disappearing for quite some time. Upon arriving at a hallway that is completely deserted, the two find it as the perfect place to part ways now that they've made it back 'home'. However, as they stand still looking into each other's eyes, the desire to continue holding onto each other grows stronger. Things need to go back to the way they were, but if that can't be for real, then at least a show for the public needs to be put on.

Even something as simple as that, is very hard for them to do.

As the silence stretches on with neither deciding to make the first move, Ulquiorra remembers something.

"Happy birthday, Grimmjow."

The blue-haired had forgotten, but instead of feeling ashamed, he becomes proud, causing a smile to appear. Ulquiorra understands why he's happy, and that's because of the only possible present he had given the latter on the special day.

Whether or not Ulquiorra is entirely alright with being the gift himself, due to it not being the reason for his actions, he is still unable to behave differently. The sad thing is that he must be as if nothing that others don't know about did happen.

"We have no meaning, Grimmjow, try to remember at least that."

Ulquiorra says as he painfully turns away, creating much needed distance between them. Grimmjow is unpleased with Ulquiorra's words, but just then, does _he_ remember something.

"We have no meaning, but I still love you."

These words make Ulquiorra come to a halt. Despite how urgent it is for Grimmjow to forget about his feelings for him or else they will get found out, Grimmjow is still very persistent and unwilling to listen whenever he is told to change. Even so, Ulquiorra can't help but feel a bit...satisfied with what he just heard. Looking over his shoulder, he can see that smiling face of his own beloved. As rebellious as he can be about everything, Grimmjow gave him a meaning, a 'heart', and a reason to smile.

When he does that, Grimmjow's heart skips a beat and gets consumed by disappointment when Ulquiorra turns away, as if he was teasing the other. That rare smile vanishes, never to return again, but to get the opportunity to show it in the first place is enough for Ulquiorra.

Ignoring Grimmjow's shouts to gain his attention, Ulquiorra continues on walking further and further away. At some point, he whispers to himself.

"Yes, we have no meaning, but only in front of Aizen-sama."

The day they die is approaching, but before they must part ways permanently, they hope to cherish the love they got to share.

The love that brought them together.

The 'heart'.

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><p><strong>Owari<strong>

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong> : This story is written for Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez's birthday. It may have a few mistakes in spelling or grammar, but that is because I'm very busy and don't have time just yet to fix them all. A sequel to this story will be written for Ulquiorra Cifer's birthday. Also, let me thank you all for reading, I appreciate your time. Have a good day.


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